


Date Night

by Alienoid



Category: Homestuck, Vast Error
Genre: Colored Text, F/M, in which the author tries to figure out how the heck to use this website
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:01:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23030626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alienoid/pseuds/Alienoid
Summary: Laivan has absolutely no idea why he's walking around with a blindfold on, but Serpaz seems over the moon about the chance to get the drop on him. Metaphorically. In the blood pusher. Nobody's getting hurt again tonight.
Relationships: Laivan Ferroo/Serpaz Helilo
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	Date Night

"Soooooooo?" Serpaz teased, keeping her hands planted firmly on Laivan's shoulders to keep him on track. "You can't take your blindfold off yet, because that would be _cheating,_ but do you have any guesses as to where we're going? C'mon, give me some guesses here! That's what makes keeping secrets fun!"

"I think the word 'cheating' implies there are rules to this whole situation. What you actually did was just put a blindfold on me, and tell me to start walking. I think this technically counts as kidnapping?" Despite the bold accusation, Laivan doesn't sound particularly nervous or threatened. That being said, he doesn't offer her any predictions, which prompts her to jostle his shoulders aggressively.

"Damn right I'm kidnapping you! And as the hostage, you not giving in to my demands is worthy of punishment!" Try as she might, she cannot keep a straight face for the life of her, already breaking into giggles despite trying to play the part of a no-nonsense criminal for all of two seconds. "Will a hint help? Will that make you more cooperative?"

"Hmmm." Laivan pretends to put much more thought into the question than he really is, just to drag it out as much as possible. "Hmmmmmm."

"Hmmmmmmmmm?"

"Hhhhmmmmmmmmmmmm."

"Alright you _ass,_ enough stalling. Start guessing!"

Laivan takes a deep breath and takes a moment to recall everything he knows about their environment. He's pretty sure they haven't moved far enough to leave the cave system outside his hive — the ground beneath his feet is rocky and there's still the faintest echo to their voices — but that doesn't exactly give much information about the destination itself. Now that he thinks about it, there were probably clues in what she's been saying that he hasn't looked too deeply into. He was never good at digging deep for clues. He was a simple guy, what could he say?

"You made reservations at a really fancy restaurant?"

His response was a loud buzzer sound from Serpaz.

"Nope! Although that _does_ sound like a fantastic date night. I might have to steal that idea for next time."

"So you _are_ a criminal."

"Darn tootin'!" If only he could see the way she was poking her tongue out at him, that would just be grand. Some real comeuppance for the sheer sass on this fella! She settles for jabbing his rib cage with her index fingers, because he's ticklish enough to give her the strong jolt of panic she's after. "We're almost there so I better start hearing some more guesses from you, buster!"

"Alright, alright, geez. I feel like I'm being forced to walk the plank, here." He honestly couldn't figure out for the life of him what she wanted him to guess, or if she even wanted him to guess correctly in the first place. "Are we meeting up with one of our friends?"

"God, your guesses are so boring, Laivan! Is there _really_ nothing super exciting you're dreaming up in that pretty little head of yours? Where's your sense of _adventure?_ These all sound totally basic and I am _insulted_ you would guess I am that basic."

"Well shucks, I guess I'm being out of line here." The good thing about Serpaz walking him around is that he can attempt to look over his shoulder and back at her without worrying about bumping into something any more than he already is. "Anything I can do to make it up to you?"

"I'm glad you asked! Just hold still for a second." Without warning, she leans forward to give Laivan a big wet kiss on the cheek, which sends them both into their own respective bouts of contained laughter. "There! I have poisoned you, and you are now my slave until I decide you've earned the antidote. I am feeling way better about my matesprit being just the worst person ever, now that I have someone to do my laundry for me."

"Well fuck. I guess I'm going to die twice." No matter what he tries, he can't stop himself from smiling a little, because he's definitely lining himself up for a slam dunk that Serpaz definitely won't see coming. Sure enough, she gives him a curious hum, prompting him to elaborate.

"You're setting something up, and I don't appreciate the secrecy. We've got ways of making you talk, wolf boy!"

"Well you're adding death by poison on to the fact that I've already fallen for you." Hm. That makes significantly less sense once it leaves his mouth, which is unfortunate because that's the point where she knows about it. "Actually wait, no, that doesn't—"

"Laivaaaan!!!" If one pays close attention, one might pick up the sound of comical gagging and retching amidst the delighted outburst. "You can't just DO that to me, give a little warning first!"

"Admittedly I didn't entirely think that through before I said it, because I'm not sure if, you know, that actually makes proper sense? Like, falling doesn't necessarily equate to—"

"Yeah yeah yadda yadda shut your trap, I don't give a shit. It was adorable and I'm going to have to get you back for that. Luckily..." As she trails off, she halts the two of them in place, reaching up to fuss with the tied knot of his blindfold. "I think I'm about to right now. Close your eyes and don't open them yet!"

Laivan cannot figure out for the life of him why she's undoing his blindfold if she doesn't want him to look yet, but he knows better than to disobey such a serious command from someone who can and will absolutely annihilate him at any moment (even if that someone isn't really her, but a slapdashed attempt at improv). The blindfold is removed, but his eyes remain closed, as planned. He hears the sound of footsteps, footsteps moving away from him. Where's Serpaz going exactly? Not very far, because they stop almost as quickly as they start.

"Alright, open those peepers!!!"

When Laivan opens his peepers, he finds Serpaz sitting on the ground in a part of the cave he's definitely familiar with. Despite her dramatic 'ta-da!' jazz hands, Laivan couldn't bring himself to be all that jazzed about Serpaz's idea of a romantic night out.

"This... sure is the place where we first met," he exclaims with the enthusiasm of a shrinking violet. His weak-willed response doesn't deter her from going right ahead and ripping the band-aid right off, though.

"Where you sent a bullet straight through my leg!"

"Yeah, that. That thing that I really don't like thinking about. You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Why would I want to forget one of the greatest nights of my life, dumb butt? You're really special to me, and that means _all_ of you. You and the things you've done." Serpaz's energy levels had gone from a wild boiling to more of a light simmer, voice quieting as she patted the spot beside her to tell him to sit with her.

 _What, on the ground?_ he asks her with his eyes. _No, on the wiggler ride outside the amusement park. YES on the ground,_ she retorts with a roll of her eyes and a quicker and more insistent patting. Pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-pat-pat! _Okay, okay, he gets it!_ he finally concedes, doing his best to find the least uncomfortable lumpy part of the ground to sit on.

"Okay, well, I still think it's possible to maybe accept that there are far less painful ways to meet up than... you know." He's sure that she'll finish his sentence for him if he dawdles for too long, much to his dismay. He loves her, he loves her with all his heart, but he can't for the life of him figure out why she's so nonchalant about what happened. Sure, it was an accident and people make mistakes, but he can't imagine being so... carefree about something that could've been avoided if only he'd been more careful.

"Well _duh,_ of course I know that!" Laivan's getting an arm full of elbow nudge from her as she scoots closer, most certainly not minding the way his arm just kind of wraps around her like it's second nature. "I think... Well okay, hear me out, Laivan."

"I'm all ears."

"How would I know how caring you were if you didn't immediately drop everything to come check on me, hm?"

"I wouldn't say _immediately,_ given Lefty wasn't exactly happy about the idea of letting me near you after that."

"Or— or— ooh! How much of a total klutz you could be if you hadn't made the mistake in the first place!"

"Is being a klutz a good thing?"

"It's adorable, is what it is. You're adorable."

"Look who's talking." As tempted as she was to blush up a storm and act all playfully bashful upon being called adorable, she figured it would be way funnier to bat her lashes at him and totally play up how adorable she allegedly was.

"Wait just a cotton-picking minute," she asked, realising that there were a few different ways he could have meant that. "Are you calling me adorable or a klutz?"

"Yes," was the answer she got. In response, her cheeks puffed out and she gave him the sourest glare she could muster as she hugged her knees in faux-frustration.

"I would totally break up with you right now if that wasn't a funny answer. Count your lucky stars, Buster Blues." Thankfully Laivan knew perfectly well that she was joking, but he still returned the peck on the cheek from earlier as an apology. It was enough to perk her back up, in any case. "No but like, seriously. I don't get why you're so hung up over it! It was an accident, and it led to me meeting you, which I wouldn't trade for the world. You wouldn't erase that bullet from history if it meant we wouldn't be together, right?"

"No way, of course not." He meant it, too. She was one of a kind, and while nobody was perfect, she came pretty close in all the ways that mattered. He could gush about her for wices, probably. "I guess I just... can't help but keep remembering that there were some pretty permanent consequences." He doesn't want to mention her leg brace specifically, and thankfully for him he doesn't have to. The list of permanent consequences that came from that night is a pretty short list.

"Leg brace schleg brace. I can still live my life just fine despite what happened, so it looks like we're _both_ lacking a leg to stand on in this conversation, huh? _Huuhhh?"_ Serpaz is waiting with bated breath for the uproaring applause from the chucklebunker audience that consists of her matesprit, but settles for the delicious two second wait before it clicks with him, and then the sad, droopy, disappointed sigh as he pinches the bridge of his scent nub. "What, would you prefer me to be all Miss Grumpypants and hold a grudge about it for the rest of time?"

Disappointed as he may be, he can't help but agree with her somewhat. This is technically what people should want, right? Water to flow under the crossing plane? Nobody _wants_ people to be mad at them, right?

"No, no, I think one of us being mad at me for what happened is enough."

There's a very harsh quiet that falls amongst them as his last sentence sinks in. Slowly, Serpaz turns to look Laivan in the eye, playfulness starting to fade into confusion and concern.

"Lai... _Mad?_ "

"It's..." It's what? He has no idea what to say to that. It wasn't a lie, exactly, but it wasn't exactly a pleasant truth to hear either. "It's something we can talk about later once I've thought about it a little more. I don't want to ruin our night out here."

Changing the topic from morbid to pleasant? That's her whole _deal!_ With a cheery smile and a nod, she steps down from her question for now.

"I've got another question for you, anyhow. What was with the whole, you know... surprise aspect of tonight? Like, why the blindfold and the mystery behind tonight?" Laivan asked.

"Well, I wasn't expecting _somebody_ to be all gloomy about it. I think this spot's incredibly romantic, thank you very much! Every time I think about this spot I can't help but remember, you know... that I've got a really dashing and charming matesprit, who I'd be smooching _all_ over right now if it weren't for the fact that he wasn't leaning in." That was a very obvious hint that he didn't need any extra help with. He isn't not leaning in for long, and once he starts to move a little closer, she's quick to jump to attention and pull his head closer with her hand in his hair and shit, whoops, their foreheads smacked into each other. Thankfully she'd left her hard hat at her hive, because while she'd have been protected, that probably would've been worse for Laivan.

"Careful, there. If you're so keen on not forgetting that night, you probably don't want to give yourself amnesia." Before she can tell him to put a sock on it, he's taking initiative and leaning in for a much gentler kiss than she'd been gunning for initially. Bursting with energy or with the serenity of a still midnight, a kiss is a kiss, and it's not exactly something either of them are going to complain about.

She does pull away after a few (lovely and beautiful and remarkable and comforting) seconds to tack a little something on, though.

"I've taken more of a beating than that, dude. Waaayyyyy way way way more than that." She continues to say the word 'way' between kisses, evidently not thinking she's gotten her point across clearly enough. "Way," smooch, "way," smooch, "way," smooch, it goes on for like ten more 'way's before she holds her breath for one much longer, "waaaaaaaay more than that."

"Holy crap, how much of a beating have you taken? You make it sound like you got run over by a motorcycle with boxing gloves on the wheels one time." Despite the relatively short make-out session, Laivan's still taking a moment to catch his breath, something both of them are intimately familiar with by this point.

"It was a very vicious cycle indeed," she says with a sly wink. Grooooaaan, says Laivan. Serpaz proceeds to lose her shit a little bit at her own joke. As much as Laivan wanted to tell her that puns were awful, he couldn't bring himself to say it.

"Well, I think I like you having your memories in any case. If I don't have you around to remind me of things, I might have to start doing crazy things like writing them down."

"Just do what I do and grab a marker and write on the inside of your eyelids so you never lose track of what you have to do next and you'll be fine! Buuuuut until I start going senile, I _guess_ I can keep being your _personal planner._ It's gonna cost you, though!"

"Let me guess, more date nights?" Serpaz gives him a scoff that definitely confirms his theory.

"I'm just saying! If you don't remember, then how're you gonna know if I just, kinda sorta just, sneak a few more in there? Don't act like it's such a travesty, Lai, come on."

"Oh, believe me, sneak as many date nights as you want in and I'll love every single one of them. I'm just saying, that sounds like a very sketchy underground way of asking me out. How do I know I can trust someone who clearly comes from such a lawless land?"

"Maybe you can't. Maybe you'll just have to keep going out with me knowing that I am one _dangerous woman._ I've got a power drill and I know how to use it, sweetheart." Serpaz is really giving this new femme fatale voice her all, lowering the tone of her voice and getting just a little breathier, even if that glint in her eye is anything but serious.

"I think I can live with that if that dangerous woman is you, and also you don't injure either of us in any serious capacity." _We've had enough of those for one lifetime,_ he doesn't add on.

"Hmmm. Deal. Maybe I'll wear _two_ hard hats from now on, just to be safe." Okay, that mental imagery is hilarious and she makes a mental note to do that later just to goof off. That's going straight in her joke calendar. Satisfied, she leans over to give him one more kiss, much slower than earlier. "I love you, you know that?"

"I've gotten a hunch every now and then," he jokes back, before her playfully venomous look squeezes a little more out of him. "I love you too. I'm glad I met you."

"Which wooouuuldn't have happened without that bullet!" she reminds him.

"God damn it, Serpaz," he scolds with the most affectionate eye roll he can muster. "Every opportunity you can bring it up, huh?"

"Maybe I'm just trying to let you know that you really don't have to beat yourself over it. Sometimes you just have to accept that it happened and deal with it like someone who's not a wiggler!" _Now_ she gets to poke her tongue out at him, before shuffling over and leaning down so her head can rest on his lap. Her horns thankfully avoid puncturing anything, and life is suddenly ten times sweeter when he gets the message and starts playing with the curly behemoth she calls a head of hair.

"We'll see." That's all he says on the matter as he runs his fingers along her scalp. She seems content enough with the answer, or perhaps he's just really good at soothing her like this. They fall into a comfortable silence from there, simply enjoying the ambience of the night in each other's company.


End file.
